Comments for Grief and Kendo

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Jun 09, 2018
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starstarstarstarstar 		Thank you
by: Anonymous

Thank you all so much for sharing your personal stories and wisdom with me. I take all your insights to heart. It has been difficult to find the strength and motivation to have the ferocity and confidence that is necessary in Kendo, but I am recovering slowly. I don't hide or push down my feelings as much, and I am always glad to make it to practice, once I'm there. Thank you very much!

Best,
Kate
Apr 16, 2018
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starstarstarstarstar 		Grief
by: RFOMI

Two years ago October 1, I lost my daughter. As Imafuji sensei said, dealing with grief is a very personal matter. I can say a bit about what I did in the weeks after her death.
In the first week I did nothing but think about her. I did not practice. I let the grief rule my life. This was a choice. I wanted to be willing to feel what I felt and to let the deepest grief run its course.
In that week I mostly stayed home. I have to thank my family and friends. My fellow kenshi for the support they gave me during that time. It was something I will always be grateful for and treasure.
Our dojo had scheduled a godo keiko to be held about two weeks after her death (this schedule was set prior to her death). At first I was not at all sure I wanted to attend. Although I had started practice again in that week, I was not sure that I could really do kendo with people I was not close with. About two hours before the practice, I decided to go and am very glad I did. The support from the larger kendo community was tremendous.
Grief takes time. At least for me. I have to say that I'm sort of glad it does. I don't want to think about what sort of person I would be if I didn't feel the sadness of losing Erin. Almost two years later there are still days when I'm hit with strong sadness and even depression over her loss.
One thing I did start doing that helped me a lot. I have a journal. When I miss her particularly intensely, I write her a letter in that journal. At first, I wrote every day. As I was able to come to terms with her death, I wrote less and less...but... I still write her.
I hope, whatever tragedy you have suffered, you will allow yourself to feel it, knowing that you will get through it and, whomever you lost would have wanted you to know that they wanted you to live a full life.
Ron
Apr 16, 2018
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starstarstarstarstar 		Find yout center
by: Frank (Germany)

Dear Kate,

Kendo teached me not only to keep my kamei, it teached my to keep my center.

Fellings must be fealt. You have to be patient and awere - even when it hurts.
Allow yourself to take that feelings as a good part of you.
With that self forgiveness - you will feel relive and freedom if you allow it.

Whish you success on you way!

All the best

Frank

Sorry for my bad english.
Apr 14, 2018
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starstarstarstarstar 		It happens to us all
by: Nick E.

Over the years I have come to understand the Buddhist approach to life. Death comes to us all so make sure you cherish each and every moment of your life aas a perfect one. Kendo and meditation will help you work through these times.

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