I have doubts about my school.....
I have started Kendo a couple of months ago. Really excited at first but soon I came to meet my own demons, i.e., not strong and powerful kiai as expected, slow in various techniques, left behind by my classmates as I was overweight.
From my point of view I was striving for a better outcome but my sensei kept pushing me without understanding my efforts. I talked to her about my need to take time-in vain I guess. I have dropped out 1 1/2 month now but I love kendo. Should I start with another teacher?
Thank you for your question. And I am sorry that you had to take some time off.
I will tell you what I think but I do not know exactly what is going on, so what I say here is based on my guess from what you wrote.
You said, “my sensei
kept pushing me”. Do you mean that she kept teaching you or kept giving you hard training without telling you the details of training?
Or maybe you mean, she was very hard on you even though you were doing your best. That is why you think she does not understand your efforts.
If she keeps training you hard, then I do not see why it is a bad thing. But if she keeps giving you hard time such as telling you off because you cannot do what she told you to do even though you are trying your best, then she probably should have given you a bit of time so you can train better.
What need did you tell her that you wanted?
You see, there is always a gap between what a teacher and their students think what the students NEED. Teachers usually know what students need because they have been there once and they are ahead of the students. That is why you should listen to your instructor.
I do not know your instructor. She might be an excellent teacher so I cannot say much about her.
All I can say to you is…
You cannot do things well from the beginning. So you should not be disappointed in yourself. And being left behind is not a bad thing.
Not doing things right is a bad thing.
So you should take your time until you can do certain things right. If you rush into many things, I am sure that you will do a lot of things in a wrong way. Now I call it “bad”.
There is no time limit in kendō
. There are no competitors in walking on the way of the sword. There is only you and you should train yourself to keep walking on the way.
Hope this helps.